I recently finished reading the Song of Fire and Ice books, and am completely smitten by the unique, brilliant, heartbreaking world that Mr. Martin has created. Reading these books was like opening up a huge stack of presents, I felt pretty spoiled. Consequently I ended up reading all 5 books in a little over a month, and I am having some serious dragon blood withdrawals.
As I try to find creative ways to ease my anticipation of the books not yet written, my mind has turned to booze. Not because I have turned to booze to ease the pain mind you, but because other day I saw an ad for Sam Adams Winter Ale, and I found myself musing over how awesome it would be if someone made a line of Beers derived George RR Martins Song of Fire and Ice books. Unfortunately I have no influence over brewing companies beer rosters, and I don’t know all that much about beer in general. At first I was pretty bereft in light of this knowledge, but then I remembered that I do have influence over this blog, and I thought to myself “I’ll show them!”. So ladies and gentlemen, whether you need a drink because it has been a long week, or you just need something to take your mind off of whatever is going to happen to Poor John Snow for a few hours, I am happy to present to you my imaginary line of cocktails, The Tumblers of Fire and Ice:
The Blood of the Dragon
Known to induce insanity and instantly turn your hair white, this shot is too strong for most. If you want to breathe a bit of fire and conquer a kingdom or two, this is the shot for you! Not recommended for those without a drop or two of Targaryan blood. Before heading out on that doomed exhibition to explore the ruins of old Valyria, you might want to throw back this mixture to get pumped:
*1/2 shot Amaretto
*1.5 Shots Hennessey
*1 Shot Alize
Instructions: This drink is best if you chill your Alize, but don’t mix over ice. Keep your sword close by while consuming, Targaryan blood has been known to insight fits of jealousy that end in backstabbing brain-smashing betrayal.
Simpering Senseless Sansa
Looking for your prince charming? Do you get butterflies in your stomach whenever someone tells you that you are pretty? Like to daydream, and put your own selfish whims ahead of the lives of your family? Then this sweet sultry drink might be for you. Much like Sansa Stark this booze is cheap, and will probably give you a headache.
*Bottle of Andre Pink Champagne
*A few drops of Campari
*A few Sugarcubes
*A few drops of bitters (I like Underberg)
How to order at a bar outside of Westeros: They call this one a Goodnight Kiss.
The Tower of Joy
Much like the residents of Dorne, there’s more to this cocktail than meets the eye. Laced with a dash of viper venom, and a few tons of bittersweetness, It doesn’t matter if your Lyanna Stark or Doran Martell, partaking in this sweet blue delight will ease your sorrows.
*A glass of Cool Blue Gatorade
*1 Shot of Blueberry Vodka
Feeling a little dead inside? Have your eyes recently turned a bright-bright blue when before they were a murky brown? Well my zombified wight friend, have I got the cocktail for you! Known to coax life back into the deadest of the dead, this cocktail is sure to make for a dead mans party.
*1 Shot Brandy
*1/2 cup Cranberry-Grape Juice (I use diet cranberry grape cause I am awesome like that)
*1/2 cup Redbull (sugar free or otherwise)
Mix in a cup with ice and see yourself come to life.
Warning: Once awoke wights can only be stopped with Dragonglass, Valyrian Steel or Fire.
My name is Reek, it rhymes with Freak
The Dreadfort and Roose Bolton have been known to put a chill into my blood, but are nothing in comparison to the revulsion and terror that stir up inside of me when I think of the psycho that is Ramsey Bolton. I feel nauseous just thinking about him. In keeping with this theme I tried to think of the grossest drink I’ve ever heard of, *disclaimer: I have not tried this drink, and neither should you if you know what’s good for you, ick*:
1 shot of Bailys Irish Cream
1/4 Shot of Lime Juice
Put the Bailys Irish Cream and the Lime Juice in Separate Shot Glasses. Put the Bailys in your mouth, then sip some lime juice, as you do this shake your head around and swish the liquids around in your mouth till the curdle. Try to swallow without vomitting.
Other helpful Song of Fire and Ice Links:
*Wonder who Jon Snows parents really are? So is everyone else on the internet! This thread on the ASOFAI Forum has some pretty well laid out theories, and has 31 pages of arguements: The Jon Snow Parentage Thread
*I also enjoy this post on a Game of Thrones message board where the discuss which other poster they would make their Reek, what a bunch of sickos.
*You can get your title and shield over on Reddit to find out what your house and rank is over here: A Reddit of Fire and Ice
*You can follow @RamseyBolton on twitter to get creeped out while tweeting.
Drawing © Stephanie Mansolf 2011, all other images belong to their respective owners, click through to access owner urls.